Tegumen Vitae
(Outer layer of life)
Many amongst us have often wondered why life is not the way we want it to be. “Why everything is so hard?”, “Why do I have all the problems when everyone else is cheerful and carefree?”, “Why am I the one who always suffers?”, “Why Me?”.
Well, the answer lies in the fact that whatever you are looking at in your life, whatever you are feeling, whatever you are sensing is coming to you through a prejudiced view of the world you have formed for yourself through others' eyes.
Try to remember that time when you were four or five years old and your parents would often come in and tell you what is right and what is wrong. “Hey, Sophie! That is not how it is done. You should do it this way.”, and you, Sophie, would do the task the way you were asked to. You never questioned or stood up for yourself.
A few years down the line you are sitting at a restaurant with a group of friends holding a fork in the right hand and a knife in the left. You are about to cut the sizzling hot piece of flesh the waiter just served but suddenly everyone starts laughing, “Hahaha! Oh, dear Sophie! You do not even know how to hold a fork and knife!” You feel embarrassed and quickly exchange fork and knife. You do not question. You are influenced by what your friends say. You give in. You fail to understand that ‘rules’ or ‘etiquettes’ are made by humans themselves.
Growing up, there are many people we listen to — our colleagues, friends, family, seniors at our job or school — and everyone has an impact on us. Our thoughts, our behaviors, our perspectives are constantly pushed in different directions by the people we are surrounded with. We gain a view of the world through their eyes, losing ourselves in the process.
We never question. We fail to take a stand for ourselves fearing that society might judge us, might make fun of us, might cause us harm. We often whine about situations but never ask why situation is the way it is. We fail to understand that we can never find the right answers until we ask the right questions.
Our life should never be defined by the perspectives others have provided us, but sadly that is the case with most of us. We must question and we must be careful about asking the right questions. Rather than asking, “Why do I have all the problems?”, we should ask “Why am I not able to solve my problems?”.
I call this tegumen vitae, which is Latin for the outer layer of life. Before we take a deep dive within us, we should know how the outer world affects us.
The tegumen vitae shall be clear from every outside influence. Our inner-self should get the outside picture not from others but ourselves. We should strive to see life the way we want to, without external prejudice clouding our perspectives.
